The Outdoors Beckons--Seaside

The outdoors beckons our spirits, connecting to the beginnings of time for us—or most of us. The Bible tells us Adam lived in a garden with Eve, had a job there. That first wonderful task of his, to name the animals, must have brought laughter and fun! Did he have to think about them as he stared at a…..hippopotamus? I have no idea what his language sounded like or what hippopotamus sounded like in that language….but just the joy of it! Ponder an animal…..watch it lumber around in water, or sail overhead in flight, jump straight up, its horns slashing air, or dash about wildly in a field just because it can. And, then, to form the words to give each of these animals a name, its own special title, different than all others……

We read those words quickly, pass them by, say them easily with little thought. “Adam named the animals.” There are those, of course, even in churches who believe no Adam lived, no Eden existed with a lush, verdant garden for Adam and Even to tend and reap from, no animals fully-formed who frolicked around, waiting for their one, special name. But even if you don’t believe it did happen, think that if it had the amount of work to come up with all those names. “You’re a giraffe.” “You’re a goose.” “Zebra; monkey; antelope; fly; catfish,” and, of course, the beloved ones, “horse;” “cat;” “dog.” While I’m off in my imagination, I can almost hear Adam (in whatever his language) say to that last one, “Dog." What a good name. Would he (or she) then have heard for the first time, “What a good dog”?

Why don’t you hang around close for a bit?” and that familiar wild-doggy looking creature, the one before humans started breeding for size or coat or color, wags his tail, walks in circles a few times, lies down, tail-over-nose, sighs, and rests near his first person, now with a name all his own.

At least for me, the outdoors calls when my spirit needs soothing and when the indoors, comfortable as it can be, gets to be too much of too much.

 And so, this week, for just a couple of days, the beach.

No one knows for sure, of course, the beginnings of the beginning. My own agnostic scientist son assures me that “evolution is a methodology.”  Okay. I have no problem with that.

But standing on the edge of the continent there, watching the foaming Atlantic charge in, rush out, gather itself a bit, then hurl that foaming swell back towards the beach, I don’t know many people whose spirit calls out from within, “Oh, thank you, subhuman protoplasm that crawled out of the Sea!” For most people—and, I totally agree it is most—the call is, “Thank You, God, thank You,” or, if not God, then Spirit or however a person’s Higher Power is addressed.

 

As a Christian, Thank You, God, works fine.

All of which lends to posters and prose, but what does it mean and how does it connect to real people now?

My husband and I like all beaches, but we love this beach, this one beach, the one where he first introduced our son and me to the Atlantic over thirty years ago now. As a small, blond, blue-eyed boy stepped over the sand dunes, his first look at the body of water that…..never ended! His eyes grew, his mouth dropped, and his walk slowed and slowed….and stopped. But eventually, if not that first trip, then later ones, he fished, body surfed, learned to see the wonder of the waters. Since those first trips, we have returned and returned, usually to this same hotel, a miniature deck looking over the Ocean, the island small, tourists not yet ruling as in other ocean towns. And so, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, leaving detailed instructions for the very experienced pet sitter who did not need them, we loaded the car with enough stuff for a week as we left for two days, and headed east.

The pier juts out into the ocean, hosting fishermen and women 24 hours a day, I’d guess 365 days a year. I have never not seen at least a few intrepid souls casting from that pier. Birds dive bomb, fluff up against the wind, little beady eyes peering around:  “Who has food I can steal?” But the best, the sweetest, if looking out into that blue water I can see dolphins cruise by or, even better, break the surface and splash down, throwing droplets into the air, diving for room to get energy to leap again. These dolphins wear sleek, black skin, no doubt cousins to Flipper, but not first cousins. I’ve learned to watch for the birds hovering above the water, chattering, waving around……no doubt following the dolphins who, no doubt, follow the fish below.

Smorgasbord.

They don’t always show….not every time.  On Wednesday when I walked out onto the pier, feeling that “A-h-h-h-h” of relief, some time away from a period in my life that stress just visits more than I want, I whispered a prayer, almost a random thought, but a real one nonetheless. “Lord, it’s not a demand, but, please, dolphins…..”

We walked up a bit, saw a brave wet-suited young man waiting for a wave to catch and ride in, surf board at the ready, and then (because he knows I cannot see very well), Mike said, “Look! Dolphins!”

I peered out towards the sun reflected off the dark water, past the surfer……..”Where?”

“THERE!” And then I saw a fin break the surface and submerge…..break, submerge, the birds dancing in the air above. Suddenly, one sleek swimmer jumped, almost leaping over the surfer, a perfect dive back into the deep.

Ah, yes. And, without will, my mind whispered, “Thank you, Lord.”

The next day, those aquatic mammals put on a show! They swam, they jumped, they dove, they leaped. From the pier, we saw people on the beach stopping, pointing, as enthralled as we were—though I admit the fishermen around us didn’t care so much. “You can’t catch ‘em.” Eventually one slowly made his way back towards us, accompanied by a flying friend. I wore out my finger trying to get a picture. I can see the fin when I look, but no one else would know…..the memory and the gratitude that will stay with me must suffice; I will revisit those magical moments in my mind.

 

There are those, of course, who will say, “The dolphins would have been there anyway; your prayer meant nothing.”

Maybe.

But those who refuse to see an answer to prayer will never see one, even if God wrote in the sky, “I did this!”  To me, that gift, a sight of those beautiful sea creatures, so healing to a person for whom animals mean so much, a gift from the Creator who knows her better than anyone else, shows the love of that Creator. And, as when I see the ocean tides, or the mountains waving color in the fall, or a horse thundering across a pasture, running to me, a gift undreamed of not so long ago, or a dog watching me with eyes looking for my pleasure.....my spirit says, "Thank you, Lord. I am gifted beyond deserving."

Beside the Brokenhearted

In the past couple of weeks as I have searched for escape or reasons for my struggles or, at least in early morning hours, enjoyed fantasies of retribution concerning the difficulties I continue to deal with, I have also looked to other resources for help. The book Where Is God When it Hurts gives perspective beyond just physical or emotional pain, but truly does give hope that grief—which better describes what I feel about a recent situation—can lead not to joy or victory, so much, but to a maturity in the persevering of it.  Given half a chance, conceivably I can emerge a bit richer life-wise. For sure, the circumstances refuse to give way to my wishes. Perhaps I could just try a bit to come out the other side with a jewel or two created in the crucible of circumstance I can’t escape. Truth be told, those retribution fantasies too easily slip into my mind in free time…..I wonder if I have enough discipline to capture a valuable gemstone.

              

Interestingly enough, Scripture does not often give a “why” in the suffering of people. Oh, there are times when the people of Israel just turn away from God so far that He let them get captured or undergo some calamity so He could get their attention, then rescued them, wooing His people till they returned to Him. But, for the most part, pain or illness or loss simply arrived as the course of life.

In the Old Testament, poor Job is just having a Tuesday (or some normal day) when Satan all but dares God to test him, this good man who actually finds himself in the midst of mishap because he lives so righteously. “Yeah, no wonder,” Satan scoffs at God’s bragging on Job. “You won’t let me get near him.”

              

So, God allows Satan access—with restrictions:  “Don’t touch his body.”  Job, having no knowledge of the string pulling behind the scenes, must have felt the bottom falling out of the world as he loses possessions, livestock, family, one catastrophe after another, some a result, literally, of tragedy falling from the sky. And Job, justifying God’s faith in him, “did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” (Job 1:22.)

              

After God pointed out Job’s continued uprightness even after Satan’s initial attacks, the devil whines, “Yeah, but you won’t let me touch him.” At which point, God lets Satan have a go at Job and boils appear over poor Job’s whole body, head to toe. After all the emotional pain and loss, Job now faces nonstop physical suffering. He sits down and tells his friends, his wife, and God about it.

              

His friends offer scant comfort, convinced Job had to do something to deserve this treatment; God would not just willy-nilly bring down such misfortune on someone for no reason. Job maintains the lack of justification for such punishment; his friends don’t buy it. For chapter after chapter, they nag and badger, harass and torment. Fairly early on, even his wife jumps in, supportive as his friends. “Oh, just curse God and die!” (See Job 2:9)

              

And, yet, Job will not. Holding his integrity like a shield, he fights back the only way he can—with the truth of his knowledge. “I don’t deserve this!” He tells them all, even God.

              

After everyone else has a say, God settles it, first asking Job, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” And for most of the rest of the book (four chapters, or so) God reveals the audacity of questioning God’s actions. The best part is the section on horses (Job 39:19-25), but then, I’m a horse girl. God encourages Job to get up and get on with it, and has some rather harsh words for Job’s friends—then gives back to Job even more than had been taken from him, though even with that, He could not, in this life, give him the specific children he had lost. Loss comes with life in this world.

              

Nowhere does God even hint at telling Job why any of those terrible happenings had arrived in his life. And how does Job end their encounter? “And I repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:6) Having lost so much, upon a face-to-face meeting with the God to whom he had complained, Job repented his grumblings, having never known that God had held him up as an example of a man to emulate.

              

Hundreds and hundreds of years later, in the New Testament, the disciples asked Jesus about a blind man, again following the belief that adversity followed fault, “Whose fault is it this man was born blind, his or his parents?” And Jesus answered, “Neither. It was so the works of God could be displayed.” (See John 9:1-3) A man spent a lifetime of darkness not knowing his sightless eyes would someday help show the Son of God to the world….would he have chosen that disability had he known?

              

Would I?

              

What generally seems the case is that the cause of pain—short term or chronic or long term—just doesn’t seem to much matter in most cases in the Bible. That can be frustrating, does not seem fair. But, Jesus did say, “In the world you will have tribulation.” He went on, “…but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Paul spends lots of time talking about the bad things that happen. The apostles were arrested, flayed, and stoned, among other things. While we live in this world, we will, indeed, have troubles.

              

And my cynical, sarcastic side thinks, “Well, no joke.” I mean, really, that’s no great revelation. And, truly, I want to assign blame….someone, surely, owes me (or you, or somebody) an apology.

              

The emphasis in Scripture regarding difficulties, though, seems to be, given the certainty of pain in life, on our reaction to trouble and pain. I can, as Job (who really did have a case for retribution to be made) did, make my case to God that life is not fair and stamp my foot to know why, why, why? Or, I can try to learn from Job, and countless others, that the why frequently does not carry much weight; cannot be changed; the cliché “I cannot change the past” is a cliché for a reason, and not waste the future reliving the pain of the past.

Which sounds w-a-y easier than it is.

              

This weekend as I watched a speaker on youtube, a woman I had never heard before, I saw a verse she put up, heard her speak about heartache. I found this woman by happenstance….found this specific video almost on a fluke. This is the verse I saw her put  on the screen…..the verse I repeated and repeated to myself ever since:

Psalm 34:18  The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

                           And saves those who are crushed in Spirit.

At such a time, with such a verse, surely God shows His care for a child who has called out to Him for help. I love taking apart such Scripture verses, one word at a time, using resources to look up the words in original languages to see the original meaning. And so, I delved into the verse….

The LORD.  Yahweh…The Covenant God. The I AM God. The eternal God. The constant God—the same yesterday, today, and forever. The God who cannot be improved—beyond all creation, all universes, all galaxies. The absolute standard of truth and goodness. The God Who is always right. Whatever He does is right. (Some of this is resourced from Desiring God site by John Piper). This is the God who cares for us.

Is near:  This word is translated “is near” in this verse. In other places, Scripture translates it “draws near,” “nearby,” “are near,” “nearest,” “related.” 

Then brokenhearted: Strong’s concordance uses these words, in part, to explain that word “brokenhearted:” abolish, break down, breaking in pieces, collapse, demolished, fractures, shattered, smashed, tore down.” I don’t believe we stretch it to use the illustration of a mirror, smashed on the floor, minute pieces scattered everywhere. Can it ever be repaired, put together, useful, even beautiful again?

And so, the first line of the verse proclaims that the God of all, the God who spoke and brought from nothing the creation of all, the God who cares from eternity into time for each of us—that God seeing a heart broken, shattered, broken into those pieces like a mirror smashed on the floor, that very God comes near to that person whose heart is so damaged and does…..what?

The second line of the verse promises:

He saves. That word suggests avenging, delivering, endows with salvation, gaining victory, helping, perseveres, saving, making victorious.

And he saves those who are crushed. The word crushed here can be contrite or truly crushed or oppressed.

Crushed in spirit……spirit. Among other words, Strong’s shows that Scriptures translates this word as heart, mind, temper, thoughts, wind, grief, wind.

And, so, this LORD of all, drawing near to the one whose heart is shattered delivers the heartbroken, makes that one victorious, helps that one who is crushed, oppressed in spirit,  in his or her mind, thoughts, with grief.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The Great Creator Covenant God of all moves in close to the one whose heart has been shattered, comforting with His presence, assuring with His authority—He is with the one who hurts—and helps that one, makes the hurting one victorious, gives them perseverance to gain victory over that thing that so crushes the spirit, that so devastates one’s mind, one’s thoughts, one’s ability to deal with disappointment and restore equilibrium and peace to the soul, heals one’s spirit.

God’s promise is, “I am close to you when you hurt.”

The realization of that promise, the truth of that Word, brought to me a gentle joy, that, though I do still feel the ache of past hurts, the “why?” will probably never be completely known in this life. My responsibility now is how do I deal with it?

Usually not well.

Last week driving home I had said out loud, as I recall, to the Lord, “Lord, I need SOMETHING from you. This is killing me” regarding this chronic, deep, sharp emotional wound I have dealt with for literally years now. It’s been enough. It’s long enough. But, even as I say it, I see the people involved, and my heart breaks again. I have done all the clichés, spouted all the right words, vowed to move on, and I hate giving them that much power over me. And it hinders my way out of proportion to the worth it should have—takes too much thought life, creates too many tears, makes me too sad, frankly. I believe the people worthy of much caring and love, but certainly if the relationships will not be repaired in the near future, or perhaps in this life, then I have to find a way to live life without an anchor of sorrow dragging me down, increasing even my fatigue level on any given day—and I can get tired well enough on my own, thank you very much.

And so, I sent out my SOS prayer:  “Help me, Lord!”

And He sent me this verse:

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

This verse only begins His promises to aching children.

In Isaiah 61:1—quoted by Jesus Himself in Luke 4:18—part of Jesus’ job for redemption is described as to “bind up the brokenhearted.” The words indicate wrapping up tightly and securely a wound broken in pieces—a shattered heart bound tightly back together, part of the work of the Messiah.

Over and over in Scripture, God promises to be with those hurting, to sustain those who feel unable to take the next step. After finding this verse…..this lifeline…..I looked for more verses to speak to those who, for a time, find themselves needing the assurance that God wants to help them through the sloughs of blinding pain and self-doubt, the miring substance of self-pity keeping them from moving forward, the walls of doubt that blind from the promised future of life abundant.

Such seeking is, of course, one reason God made the Internet. Put into a Google search engine “verses for healing broken hearts,” and more hits pop up (in 0.46 seconds) than can be read, well, ever. Mine the treasure and see:

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

Revelation 21:4 “and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer

                                  be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain”

I John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to

                        be the propitiation for our sins.”

Psalm 55:22a “Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you..”

Romans 8:15b “you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, ‘Abba!

                            Father’”

There are many, many more of these verses…..Scripture, chock full of promises from God to His children of love and care, along with those pesky commandments and warnings. But, He makes sure we know, even those commandments and warnings are for our good.

He is on our side. We are His children. Even more difficult to grasp, I am His child, and He loves me.

Though I may never understand all the reasons why the situation developed, though, no doubt, I contributed my fair share (what a good, politically correct phrase), I have done all I can to correct what I could, asked forgiveness, and forgiven as best as am able. Scripture doesn’t spend a lot of time on the why of pain and suffering; Scripture just accepts that in this fallen world, we will have it in good measure. Our responsibility is to deal with the suffering in a Godly manner.

In more than one place, and specifically in that jewel of Psalm 34:18, the LORD promises to move near, to comfort and save, those whose hearts with broken, shattered hearts, whose spirits are crushed. He doesn’t qualify the reasons for those troubles….he just makes the promise.

In past days, I have thanked the God who loves me enough, the God who spoke into existence the world (whatever that process looked like), who watches at night as we sleep, who thinks about us as we are too busy to think of Him, I have thanked Him that He, as my heart hurts from situations I cannot change or control, He moves nearer to me….promises to comfort me….and I look for Him close.

He is close.

I know this because He said He is.

In this fallen world where so often suffering and pain, disappointment and disaster seem to overtake us all, the question of why shouts, seemingly heard above all else. And when no answer appears, sceptics reply, “There, that proves your prayers do no good….”

But, quietly, softly under the screams and protests, next to the hurting and suffering, beside the ones working and building, moving close to the brokenhearted, the GOD of all begins to build up the crushed and bind up the wounds and comfort the hurting. I must not forget He loves just as tenderly, just as fiercely, those people whose actions brought me to this point. They, too, are His children. They, also, can find and feel His warmth and compassion. As His children, we, actually, are all in this together.

Where is God when we hurt? He is there, beside us. And the pain is an opportunity to know Him better. I gotta say, that is not the plan I would have chosen…..but, then, I am definitely not God.

IT WOULD BE nice to say that this gift of a verse from God has made my reaction to all things related to my initial situation all better, calm, quiet, nice and “spiritual.”

It would be nice to say that, but that would be a lie. In finding myself having to deal with the same conditions, again I felt my hackles rise, the tears flow, my emotions overtake what I want to be peaceful, composed countenance.

But, here is a difference:  I pray, again, for grace and blessings for those with whom I cannot deal, pray for forgiveness for my lack of grace, pray for us all. If there is to be resolution, it will not be without celestial action:  I am without ability to bring it.

And I acknowledge that as my heart broke, by faith, God drew near beside me. I know this because He said He would. I am better than I was before; though I felt the sharp stab of previous hurt, it did not pierce as intensely. The binding of wounds starts healing.....it is not the end. I pray now that in the process God draws close to all of us involved in this particular situation and focus on where we all go

from here. It is the past that hurts; I pray the future blessings for us all.